My Secret
by BinksSaysRawr
Summary: Bella has a secret no one knows about and a past that she's tried to run from for years. But when she meets Edward and falls in love with him, she just might tell him what it is and learn to accept and let go of her past. Rated T just in case
1. prologue

Prologue

As I look into the golden eyes of the one I love, I wonder if I could really tell him my secret and my past. If I did, would it break him? Would he leave me? Or maybe… he'll stay by my side?

"Bella," Edward said "please tell me what you're hiding. Let me in"

I could see that his face was pleading, but my heart was still confused. Could I tell him? I was too confused.

"I need to be alone" I said as I turned away from him.

"Wait," Edward caught my hand and spun me into his arms "you've been alone long enough, please see that I'm here and I won't leave you"

I looked into his eyes again with tears coming from my own. I don't know what I saw that made my decision, but I suddenly felt like I could truly trust him and knew he would stay with me no matter what.

"Okay" I said

**A/N: I HAVE AND AM REWRITING THIS STORY! I'm, _Really Really REALLY s_orry for not writing in sooooo long and I know you must be SUPER pissed. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I swear I'm gonna make it up!!!!! SORRY AGAIN!**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I locked the door of my one bedroom apartment as I left for my first day in Forks High. I really didn't have a logical reason in staying in school; I guess it just felt a little normal for me. I scoffed quietly to myself.

Normal? Nothing in my life was normal anymore, just screwed up. I had moved to the rainy town of Forks about a month ago with the little money I had in my pocket and managed to find a small (_very _small, but cheap) apartment.

I was also able to find a job in a sporting goods shop which was very lucky. I looked at my watch and when I saw the time, I walked a little faster. I had no car and the school is about a mile away. I sighed; at least I would get exercise.

When I had finally made it, I braced myself and walked into the school office. I went up to the front desk to find a red-headed lady typing on a computer. She looked up.

"May I help you?"

"Yes," I said "I'm Bella Swan, a new student here"

"Oh," she said "then let's see"

The nice red-head looked through a small pile of papers until she found my schedule and a map of the school.

"Thank you"

When I left, I tried to memorize the map and then left for my first class; biology.

It was when I walked into class that I saw him. He was beautiful, with topaz eyes and bronze colored hair. What was strange was that he looked at me with a frustrating expression.

"Bella!" I looked away from the beautiful boy. I saw that the person who called my name was the son of my boss; Mike Newton.

"Oh, hi Mike" I said

"I was hoping I would see you here," he said. I don't know why, but every time I see Mike I think of a golden retriever.

"Well, here I am" I replied

"Have you started school here now?" he asked "I thought you had already a few weeks ago"

"I needed to get settled in first and then do a few things" I couldn't tell him that the real reason was because I hadn't found an apartment and hadn't raised enough money to rent one yet. The money I already had was running out quickly. I couldn't worry about that and starting school at the same time.

As far as Mike knew, I was living with my dad (as you already know, that's not true) and got that job to not have him pay for my stuff.

Living on my own at 17 is hard, but I'm used to it. I've been living on my own for a long time now.

"Oh," Mike said "okay, was just wondering"

The bell rung after that

"Well, I'll talk to you after class"

I smiled and nodded. I went to the teacher, and told him who I was.

"Ah, yes" he said "your seat is right over there"

I looked to where he was pointing at. It was the seat next to the beautiful, bronze haired boy.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 3

I took a deep breath and made my way to my new seat.

_Man, of all the seats it had to be the one next to __**his**_ I thought.

I sat down and tried to look only at my notebook. It didn't work. I kept finding myself stealing little glances of his face. It was as if it belonged to a sculpture of a god. When I looked at him once more, I saw that he was looking at me again with that same frustrated expression.

What was his problem?

"Um, hi" I said nervously. He didn't answer back at first just stared, but then spoke.

"Hello" his voice was angelic, like a melody, but at the same time strained.

"I'm Bella," I tried to keep him talking; though it was getting awkward "What's your name?"

"I am Edward Cullen" he face was smooth but his eyes were still frustrated, as if there was a puzzle he couldn't seem to solve. I also noticed he wasn't breathing. _Do I smell bad or something?_ I wondered and discreetly smelled my hair. It smelled fine to me.

The teacher started class and the conversation dropped. I tried to pay attention, but it was hard with a freaking model sitting right next to me. By the time class ended, I had only caught half of the lesson. Edward left as soon as the bell rang. This had left me wondering what his big deal was.

"Hey Bella," Mike called from behind me.

"Hi," I said "do you know who that Edward Cullen guy is?"

"Sure, he and his family moved down from Alaska two years ago. He and his four brothers and sisters are all adopted by Dr. Cullen and his wife. Why?" his voice was a little worried at the end.

"Just wondered who was sitting next to me"

"Oh" he sounded relieved though I couldn't imagine why.

Then it hit me, Mike thought I was crushing on Edward when he was the one who liked me. Damn, that meant that I'd have to turn him down soon. He deserves a girl who doesn't have problems and a past like mine.

"Let's go" I said and walked out with Mike to my next class with many questions going through my head.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mike walked me halfway to my next class since his was on the other side. I had trig (which I sucked at) and met a girl named Jessica. Together, we walked to lunch after class and she introduced me to her friends. Mike was one of them and I could tell she had a huge crush on him.

As I was in the lunch line with my new friends, I suddenly felt it. It was a terrible pain in my chest. I could feel it getting a joy out of me hurting. I couldn't let Mike or Jess see this. Hid the pain from my expression and tried with all my might to talk.

"I'll be right back" I said

Jessica just nodded and continued to try and get Mike's attention. Neither of them noticed what was happening to me. But one did; _Him._

As I went through the door with my hand franticly searching for my pills I caught a glimpse of his face looking at me with wide eyes. I ran down the hallway to the bathroom nearby. No one was there, good.

My shaking hands opened the pill bottle and took one out. I put in my mouth and drank it with the water from the faucet. When I finished, I slowly went to the closest stall and sat down with my head between my knees.

Waiting and waiting for the torture to end. When will it end? Silent tears went down my cheeks. I didn't know how long I could live with this or long I _would _live. I stayed there sitting, hoping the pain and tears would stop soon.

I was in the bathroom for a good 15 minutes. I dried off my tears and made sure my face wasn't red, but my eyes were. Well, I couldn't wait here all day for them to go normal. Jessica and everyone were probably already wondering where I was. The pain wasn't fully gone, but it was a little bearable now. I fixed myself in the mirror and left.

The minute I went out, I saw Edward standing next to the entrance. Shoot. Of all the people who could have seen me it had to have been him. When he saw that I had come out, he started walking next to me.

"Bella, are you all right?"

"I'm fine" I stopped walking and didn't look at him. I knew he would see that I was lying.

He grabbed my chin and made me face him. I started to protest, but stopped when I realized that it was no use. His hand was strong and cold as ice.

"Your eyes are red," he noticed "what happened-"

"I said I'm fine" I cut him off. Edward let me go and stared at me.

"I'm sorry," I said. Tears were already starting to form again.

I leaned against the wall and slid down, so did he. We stared at the floor for a while saying nothing. But a question kept going through my head. I took a deep breath and asked.

"Why did you follow me?"

"I don't know," he answered "I guess I was worried"

"It didn't look like were one to worry about me in class"

"I know, I was just…" he was searching for words

"Frustrated?" he looked at me with shock

"What?" I said "you thought I hadn't caught that?"

He smiled a crooked smile that made my heart skip a beat.

"I guess you're a good observer" he said

"I guess I am" I replied smiling too.

We stayed there talking until the lunch bell rang. We stood up and looked at each other.

"I guess I'll see you later?" he asked. I nodded and we both walked away.

_What just happened?_ I thought and kept walking.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I went to P.E. (my last class) in a daze. When I walked into the gym Mike came up to me and asked where I had gone. I told him that I forgot to turn a paper in before school started and went to the office to give it to them.

He accepted my excuse though he wasn't fully convinced. When the coach called the class to order, she saw that I was new and had no uniform. Because of that, I thankfully didn't have to play the volleyball game with everyone. So I sat on the bench and thought of Edward.

I didn't really understand him. He was sort of rude to me in biology and then he follows me and waits by the bathroom because he was worried about me?

It didn't make sense when you looked at it. And his hand… it was hard as granite and snow-cold.

I shook my head and tired to think of something else. It was then that I realized something. When Edward saw me going through the lunch door, he wasn't alone. He was sitting on a table with four other people. They looked related and at the same time, not at all.

Two of them were girls and the other two were boys. One girl was blonde and drop-dead gorgeous. The other was pixie-like with black, short spiky hair. Of the two boys, one was also blonde and looked like he was in pain. The other boy looked so buff that he could beat The Rock in one round.

The thing that made them look the same way was they all had pale skin and gold eyes like Edward. They were also all beautiful. I guess it was safe to assume that this was his family. He talked about them a little when we were in the hallway. I remembered he said that their names were Alice, Emmett; Rosalie and Japer.

When Edward saw me with shocked eyes, they were looking at him. Probably because they didn't see me and wondered what was up with their brother.

I sighed and focused on the game that was going on. Mike was really good and he and his team won.

When the game ended he came up to me.

"Hey Mike, good game" I said cheerfully

"Thanks, can't wait to see you play"

"Trust me," I held back a grimace thinking of the last game I played "you don't want to"

"That good?" he teased

"That bad"

We both laughed and I left when the final bell rang. I walked home thinking about today's events

_This was the strangest and weirdest day ever_ I concluded.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I opened the door of my apartment and laid my keys on the counter of the kitchen. I got to my room and fell head-first onto my pillow. I turned my head and looked at my room. It was pretty bare; actually, my whole apartment was like that. The only furniture that I had was my bed, small desk, chair, and my kitchen barstool (all bought in Goodwill).I couldn't really go on a furniture spree; I didn't have the money.

I closed my eyes and saw Edward's face. It was gorgeous; I would've stayed imagining if there wasn't a knock on the door. I sighed and forced myself up to answer it. When I did I saw that it was my neighbor Sue.

She was an short old woman with her gray hair wrapped in a bun and had the sweetest heart. Ever since I had moved here, she helped me. I don't know how I could ever repay her.

"Hello, Sue" I said kindly

She smiled "Hello, Bella how was your first day of school?"

"It was okay"

"Well that's good" she said "I thought you might be hungry, so I made you something to have for dinner"

"That's very sweet of you. You didn't have to do that" Sue has already done enough for me.

"Oh, nonsense" she handed me a big plate covered by a sheet of foil. This woman's kindness knew no bounds.

"Thank you"

"Just make sure to eat it all and tell me how it turned out"

"I will" I replied

She turned and went back to her apartment across from mine. I closed the door and went to the kitchen. Sue was like the grandmother I never had. When she saw me move in that day with only one bag full of my belongings, she helped me out and has since. She gave me her spare bed sheets when I didn't have any and also gave me old clothes of her granddaughters when I didn't have enough. Sue's kindness was something I will never forget.

She was right about one thing: I _was_ hungry. Then I remembered it was because I didn't have lunch. I took the foil off the plate and saw what it was. Black beans with rice and steak. She even added a piece of bread with butter. I smiled to myself and thought of how grateful I was to have a neighbor like her.

I ate the food happily and washed the plate to give back to her. When I finished I did my homework, showered and went to bed. That night I dreamt of Edward Cullen.


End file.
